You're gonna get this, Mera. As I've told you before, you want it too badly to not get it. It's just figuring out the way to get there that's best for you. We can sit here all day and tell you what worked for us, etc., but the bottom line is you have to decide the way that fits best in your life. But first you have to accept wholeheartedly that alcohol is no longer an option for you.
And therein lies the mourning.
I completely understand romanticizing alcohol & being pissed that you have to give it up. I get the break-up and the mourning period - been there & done it too many times to count. Everyone on this board does (or has) - trust me. Some people get it right off the bat (the lucky, rare ones) and others take longer. For me I've been "seriously" trying since Oct. of last year. It's only now, 10 months later, that I'm ready. I've surrendered completely. I'm no longer clinging to abstinence. I've finally, thankfully, embraced sobriety.
It can be a process if you let it - one step forward, two steps back. I personally found that way to be exhausting on both a physical and mental level. Or you can chose to sever all ties completely. I love the analogy someone else mentioned of breaking up with an abusive boyfriend/girlfriend. For me that's the main trick that has helped this time. Just those subtle changes in my thinking. Romance vs. reality is a huge help. Well that and complete surrender.
I'll say it again. You're going to get there, Mera. You want it too badly to not. Keep up the fight. We're all here with you, rooting you on!
Hugs!