You're right. It's not the choice i want to make. I'm not sure if I'm ready to make it. I get one shot at this, if i leave, that's it. That's all. There's no second chance. I'm the one who can't make a decision on what to buy at the Dollar Store, a big decision like this is very hard. The rest of my life,and my children's lives, depend on it cuz there are no do-overs.
What i mean by my family wouldn't accept it is just that. In my family, you don't leave. You don't divorce. To do so means I was weak, i didn't try hard enough. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone, but growing up like this, it's what I was raised to believe. While my thoughts on that may be changing, my family's thoughts aren't.