I'm not sure I saw any actions that supported it. I feel like I was a sucker to believe him. At this moment I am lost and confused and angry. I want to show him, he didn't get away with it after all. That would serve nothing but oh man, it would make me feel better. After years of putting my feelings last, it would make me feel good.
The fact is, I don't know what to do anymore. I cant believe this is what my life has come to. I have small children so taking time for myself is not possible. And i can no longer leave them in his care, i don't trust him. So self care is non existent. I'm lucky to get a shower lol. I feel trapped.
I feel so angry and frustrated, i wish i could show him what it's like. I wish for one day I would be the one with a selfish addiction and he would be the spouse, having to take care of the kids, work a full time job and put up with the fun an alcoholic provides. Just one day. Childish and petty of me, i know, but I'm getting close to having my fill and I'm scared what that means.