Not sure if you read my ice cream story that turned into me getting a PFA - but my soon to be ex supposed RAH wanted to take DD out for ice cream for her first day on Kindergarten on Monday and this is how it went down - 2 pm he textd me inviting me and 2 year old to come along so we can show the 5 year old we can still do things together (what?! Never. Or not for 5 years at least. He has been horrible HORRIBLE where did this come from? too little too late- wierd)
About 2 hours later he unleashed pure rage on me because his ice cream date was before dinner and not after and I had suggested he give her something real to eat first - he went into a terrible threatening rage (his pattern) and I got a PFA the next day.
So I know what you mean. You will get used to it, well.. not get used to it but you will get more sophisticated in dealing with it and it won't be AS confusing to you. It doesn't confuse me anymore - but it still affects me. It doesn't roll off my back yet.