Perhaps the best birthday gift you can give yourself is to commit to today as being a major turning point in your life. You are already making choices FOR your emotional health, and today you get to celebrate that. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and a much better, happier life it can and will be.
Yes! Happy birthday!
One of the most empowering things I've done for myself is making MY OWN holidays special. My family and my ex were always very hit and miss when it came to holidays -- sometimes I would get literally nothing, sometimes he would use my credit card to buy me $1000 of gifts (THANKS) -- so now I plan my own festivities and do something nice for myself. I can't let other people's whims control my happiness, and damn it, we deserve nice and peaceful holidays!
How about a pedicure? A dinner out? A hot cup of tea outdoors? A bike ride with your kids? Homemade brownies? A new top or pair of earrings? What's something comforting and nice you can do to treat yourself today? I'm frequently broke, so I try to treat myself without spending money. A new book at the library, my favorite home cooked meal, a meandering walk outdoors looking for bunnies.
It's not selfish to think and act for yourself. It's smart to do that! Keep it up, lady, and let yourself off the hook!