Happy Birthday, Butterfly, from one of your many many new friends and supporters on SoberRecovery, even if you don't know us yet.
You are not alone. You are worthy. You do not have to live out your past; you can choose your future. There are many many better days ahead of you.
It is necessary and wise to eject all the toxic people from our lives. You get to do whatever you need to do to protect yourself, and that includes no contact with your AH in any way.
Perhaps the best birthday gift you can give yourself is to commit to today as being a major turning point in your life. You are already making choices FOR your emotional health, and today you get to celebrate that. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and a much better, happier life it can and will be.
We'll all light a candle (many candles?) for you on your metaphorical birthday cake, and be there with you and your kids.
ShootingStar1