Originally Posted by
zjw 
yeah thats what its been like for me in AA. I'm not unhappy about it however. I mean twice people have said hey welcome thanks for coming but that was about as far as it went. I basicly get ignored otherwise and when I tried reaching out to a few inspiring individuals I was promptly brushed off. it was like they had there own little click and I was not part of it.
Its ok tho I still enjoy going speaking and listening to others. But I have yet to have anyone explain to me the whole sponser thing or steps etc.. I've had to go fish for that sort of information. I would not even know who to ask for a sponser or if i even need one at 3 years sobriety etc... seems a bit late in the game for me to ask.
But again I'm not really unhappy about it or nothing but my expierience has been similier to yours in those regards. I still go I still get something out of it etc..
I'll tell you about my thoughts & experiences in AA.
First time I "identified" in AA, straight away, I felt a huge relief that I wasn't the ONLY one. I got the bog standard advice along the lines of "Keep coming back" & "get to LOTS of meetings & just don't drink no matter what"
OK cool I thought ... I'll do that. And I did LOTS of meetings & didn't drink.
After a while I started to think ... One day, once I've been sober long enough, one of these "older sober members" is going to say something like "Congratulations, you've shown you can stay sober & you really don't want to drink ... so here is how this deal really works and one of us is going to sponsor you & you get to be taken through the steps"
I thought there was some kind of "Fight Club" rule in place, you know ... "First rule of taking the 12 steps of AA is ... you don't talk about doing the 12 steps of AA"
One night this guy visited my home group from out of town and he talked about taking the steps ... I was memorized, but at the same time I though "Jeez, didn't anyone tell this guy the rules"
None the less, for the very first time in around 365 days of "Just going to meetings & just not drinking" I saw & heard a guy in AA who actually had something I wanted. A serenity, a presence, an aura ... call it what you like.
I was outside smoking after the meeting & he walked up to me, we talked for a bit & then he asked something like, how you going with the steps.
I told him my fight club theory & then said something like, "well I'm sure they've all done the steps, some of them haven't had a drink for decades"
He said "They don't talk about them because they've never taken them"
My world & mind literally shattered.
I've run out of time, but there is a part two.