Hi Katie,
I'll sidestep the AA discussion, and get back to the topic of relapsing.
I was a chronic relapser and I am keenly aware of the anger, the hopelessness and the disappointment my behavior caused for others in AA.
But, I believe that relapsing, for many, is
how they recover. It's how they learn.
I know, this is heresy to some AA'ers, but it is my opinion. I have two sons. The first spent long hours studying others and planning his first step. He took his first step and never stumbled or fell. I was flabbergasted.
My second son never studied anyone but started trying to walk by trial and error and there were countless trips and falls.
They had a completely different approach to learning.
I have concluded that in my recovery, I was like my second son. I stumbled and fell many times in the attempt to walk.
I am in AA and extremely supportive of relapsers and tell them to just get up again, brush off the dust and get back to it. I tell them that if this expert of relapsing could do it, so can they!