Day 10, what a day. I don't even know where to start.
I finally help them with bankruptcy paper and we got it filed with their lawyers. Immediately after, we decided to go to a car dealer to return one of their leased vehicles instead of waiting for the dealer to contact us to return it per bankruptcy. So far, so good. While I was cleaning out the car. I find a suicide note written by my dad. Presumable written a few days back. (I assume this because my mom had called me worried that my dad would hurt himself).
It read something like, 'My dear sister, please take good care of mother. My dear sons, please take good care of your mother. Please do not bury me, but cremate me and spread my ashes over water"
The surge of so many different emotions went through me. Worry, pity, empathy, anger and more. I had to hide these emotions as I was alone for only a minute or so. I put it back in the little center cubby in the car. My dad came out with a plastic bag to help clean the car. (it was full of butts) I let him take over. Later when I checked, the note was gone. I guess he threw it away with the butts.
In the end, I decided the best thing for me to do is to help him through the bankruptcy, business eviction and foreclosure as best I can. He and mom both want it behind them as quickly as possible which includes moving to another city.
I took them out to a nice Sushi restaurant for dinner to lift their spirits. My dad of course drank Sake, when the waitress asked how many glasses, I said, "one." No question from dad, I think he realizes that I'm not going to drink. (at least on this trip). I have not told him that I've quit. I think because I'm don't want to tell him only to slip later. (I think there is some issue there a therapist could drag out) Anyway, he drank two large bottle of sake during dinner. Towards the end of the dinner, I saw an ugly side of drunkenness as he was being kind of loud and talking non-sense about how to recover some money, when my mother jumped in, he was rude to her. He was not rational and was essentially talking about committing fraud. I wondered if I act that stupid and say stupid things when I get drunk.
Anyway, a crazy day. I'm now worried sick about their future. I guess one positive thing about today was that I actually bought someone a drink and did not drink myself and preserved my sobriety through 10 days.
I hope day 11 is easier in many ways.
pakman