Originally Posted by
ShootingStar1 
The question isn't "why is he so nice now?" - - it is "How long would his "niceness" last if I let him come back?"
Often alcoholics have a cycle they go through: the honeymoon, the plateau, the disillusionment, the "blame anybody but myself", the anger, the hostility, the bad behavior...
And that leads to them being tossed out, and they want back in, so they try THE HONEYMOON again... and on and on it goes.
You don't have to buy back into anything you don't want to.
ShootingStar1
He told me he has learned alot from being gone and doesn't drink 2 bottles of wine anymore a night and only 1 or 2 beers when he gets home now.
I asked him about AA he was reluctant. He said we can do this together but he needs my help. I explained and I apologize but I told him I was not going to help him, I have been helping for years and it got me nothing but pain and suffering. I was the one abandoned and had to bury all my hopes and dreams so I wasn't helping him. I could understand that since he hadn't done so already he wasn't even ready yet.
I am sad for him but living separate is what is best for my sanity. I over react allot to him, I am tired of not being paid to be a private investigator.
I have to work on me as I know I will be divorced one day i'm sure of it.