Hmm, i don't agree with that our addict is our drug or that there is no learning curve or that everyone involved with an addict is codependent.
I knew that the man i was falling in love with had a drug problem in the past. Did i know what it means? No! How should I? I was never exposed to addiction, and all i knew was based on social stereotypes, movies or books. So when I found out about his relapse, i was shocked,confused, scared and extremely worried. I had no idea what it means. So i came here to find out more and looking for help.
Codependency is a big topic around here. and yes, i felt overwhelmed and even more scared when someone asked me what is wrong with me, that i fell for this person. I am pretty sure I am NOT codependent and yet i stayed here. Yes, i still care deeply for this man and yes, i still want to be with him after everything i learned. Who knows me knows I'm a smart girl,and if I ever end up with him i certainly would have my boundaries. I am aware that i can't cure his addiction, so i'm not even trying. BUT i know he's trying really hart and so far doing very good regarding his sobriety. So i don't want to cure him, but i want to support him. Am i addicted to him? Not more as if I would like a non-addict.
So, for me as a newbie it was scaring to read that there might be something wrong with me. It didn't help me in the overall confusion i felt back then. I moved to the Substance abuse section because i felt that i got more help there. I wanted to understand what's going on,what it means to be addicted/loving an addict so i could make up my own mind about it.
I think a forum for codependents would make sense. Not everyone chooses to leave the addict, and as i stated not everyone is codependent. Yet there come a lot of questions with loving an addict (whatever our relationship to them is) and it's rough, but i made the experience that those threads often go back to those questions what's wrong with you, why don't you leave him, etc.