I also think it would be logical to have a forum specifically for codependency where it could be discussed in detail. Being a F&F of a substance abuse doesn't equate with codependency, but its talked about so much here I think people get confused. I also think as Chino said.. a lot of people don't stick around... I think its because if newcomers don't buy into the codependency concept they feel uncomfortable here as its almost pushed to a certain degree.
Just my opinion of course.. as that's what I felt as a newcomer.
As a member here for more than 12 years, I'd like to comment on this. This forum was originally called Nar-Anon and the FFA forum was Al-anon. Because of copyright issues the names were changed. Also, the concept never fit exactly because we have always welcomed people with no program at all, those who considered themselves codependent (like me) and those who denied any feelings of codependency (like you).
For 12 years this forum has welcomed all who love an addict...period...that was the only qualification to be here.
A special forum was started for those who wanted to share and not discuss 12-step at all...and it's hardly used. To divide the members into groups of "those who think they are codependent and those who deny that codependency exists or that they are not one, simply further divides the members here, putting them into "categories" and I think that is wrong and hope it never happens or doesn't happen again.
This is a forum where we embrace our diversity and to try to split it up because of our differences is just wrong...on many levels.
People who don't stick around, choose to leave for many reasons...often their lives get better or their crisis is over, some don't like other members here...but in 12 years I have never heard once of any member leaving because they felt left out by "codependents", not once, not ever.
I think that needed to be clarified here today by sharing my 12 years of experience here. I mean no disrespect to any member here, it's simply the truth and history of why these forums are as they are and I say this so that new members do not feel the need to categorize themselves or feel they should be segregated to another forum.
To the original poster here, I hope I have not thrown your thread off balance. You asked why we consider our codendency in a similar way, as addiction to our addicts.
Please know that this is a very good question and one that deserves the respect of all codependents who have wondered this too.
Hugs