Originally Posted by
KariSue 
I totally agree. I especially like your point about not every addict being an obvious one. When I first discovered my son was doing drugs he was living with me and his wife and children were also. My husband and I and his wife didn't know. We really didn't.
Looking back there were signs but we didn't see them or attributed them to something else. He is a binge user meaning that he goes long periods without using and then when he has a crisis of some kind he does drugs. With that type of addict it is even harder to tell because for chunks of time he IS sober. It is really hard actually because there will be times when you think he is getting better but then it happens again so you really never know. So frustrating.
I think a co-dependency section on the forum would be a good thing.
Kari
With my husband very few people, to this day.. know he was ever addicted to drugs. I think some people realized he wasn't well.. he lost weight, was more unkempt, and probably acted a little strange at times.. but the fact that it was an addiction escaped most people. Whats funny is Ive even had a few people say that our separation was so hard on him, he looked like he was having a rough time and they are so happy we got back together. I just laugh and say it was hard on me too, and Im also really happy we are back together. LOL
I personally think this is a much more common scenario especially when your dealing with prescription drug abuse and addiction. I can see this with a binge user also. Something happens he cant deal with and he binges, then goes back to normal... Hard to say what is going on with his GF but maybe she is also weighing the totality of it all, can see patterns where good times are getting longer.. etc. I don't like to try to judge others but I know it can truly be complicated.
I also think it would be logical to have a forum specifically for codependency where it could be discussed in detail. Being a F&F of a substance abuse doesn't equate with codependency, but its talked about so much here I think people get confused. I also think as Chino said.. a lot of people don't stick around... I think its because if newcomers don't buy into the codependency concept they feel uncomfortable here as its almost pushed to a certain degree.
Just my opinion of course.. as that's what I felt as a newcomer.
I also don't think its insulting to suggest there should be a specific forum for this topic because its obvious its important to a lot of members. We have mental health forums, anxiety, eating disorders, insomnia... why not codependency...