A friend of mine, also an adult child of an alcoholic, told me that his father disappeared for five years. They were all worried sick about him - no information, no contact - and in the end they just got on with their lives, as far as you can when you don't know whether a loved one's dead or alive.
My friend inadvertently met his father after all those years; he'd just started another life for himself, had a new woman and a young kid and was happily drinking away - while the family from his previous life no longer existed for him. As long as HE was all right, he had absolutely no regard for anyone else around him.
Selfish doesn't even begin to describe it...