Thank you for the responses. Yes, it does help. If this makes any sense, I just wish I were doing worse. I think it would be that kick I need but I don't want to have to go back down that path. Hopefully some conversation will help.
thats like the self destructive AV speaking. A healthy mind would never look for it to get worse they would stop it before it did. But I can relate I used to watch my bank acct and think well i guess when it gets bad enough I'll have to quit drinking. I guess when my consumptions off the charts I'll have to quit. I guess when i cant take it anymore i'll have to quit. That day came and yes it was the kick in the butt i needed. But hoping for it to come etc.. is the wrong line of though.
That being said I'm guilty of the same. I have a friend i'd wish would quit but it hasnt gotten bad enough yet for him to get motivated so he just maintains his habits sad but true.
There is some truth to what your saying but perhaps you should hope for the motivation / strong desire to quit instead.
I prayed so much to be free of this disease. What did i get? panic attacks why? to teach me a lesson and to light that fire of strong desire to quit. I did not want them then I wouldnt wish that on anyone. I should not have taken that to get me to quit. It was not until after the fact that I was thankful that it got that bad thankful for those panic attacks had it not been for them I would not have bothered.
But be careful what you wish for. I wish I could have learned my lesson without those panic attacks. I'm sure there are plenty here who'd say yes thank god for my bottom but sure would have been nice to not have to hit it first!.
keep in mind too where is your bottom do you know do you wanna know? I dunno where mine is i really dont wantt o find out either.