For me drink + children + responsibilities = anxiety, guilt, sadness and depression.
If drink stopped me doing my job properly or interacting with my child, I felt horrendous. That was both physically and mentally.
After a few weeks of not drinking, those feelings went away.
If I needed some time out for me, I also felt better about taking it when I was tired from work or looking after my child. Needing time out because I was hungover, seemed selfish and underserving.
You can't change the past, as much as you may like to.
But you can make every moment count in the future if you want to.
For me that was staying away from that first drink no matter what. If I had that first drink, then I could not trust myself to keep away from the drinks that would follow.
I wish you the best xx