I think that drinking has created additional anxiety. I'm feeling the same way today and don't have kids, but can't shake this guilt of caving this weekend. It will take a few days to subside. I wish I got these feelings before I decided to drink. I don't know how I didn't realize at the time that starting day 1 again feels like an epic fail and all the anxiety and dread that comes with it.
I think you are doing well retreating for a bit. Feel better and keep posting.