I thought about the "in sickness and in health" thing also. I really don't think God meant for people to put up with all these chosen sicknesses. It is a lot different than if they get cancer or are in some type of accident and get paralyzed or something.
That's only my opinion though. I know everyone has their own views. I hope I didn't offend anyone.
Social Security also does not view drugs/alcohol as a disability. Years ago they did,but have changed it.
37 years of marriage is a milestone. I have 17yrs of marriage and it's what keeps me staying. I know this is so very hard for you. It's easy to view them as the same person they were all these years through the good times.
Even though in my marriage we have had just as much bad times as good due to drugs. When things are going o.k. I tend to forget about all the bad stuff. When something comes up with my dh over his use I get stuck on every bad time in my head.
It's an emotional roller coaster.
Him telling you.you better not tell anyone is something that might be able to get some sense into him about his drinking.
I would tell him you are going to tell everybody. They need to know the truth.