Hi RedheadJen, isn't it so annoying that alcohol can control us this way. When we've been drinking for several years, as I was, it's so hard to let go, it's round every corner in every tv programme , in every magazine. I noticed all of that at first, now not so much though I am still aware it is there to catch me out if I let my defences down.
It will get easier and I know it doesn't help right now but just baby steps, one at a time. I wanted to leap into the future far away from alcohol and be cured, just like that. If I had dr. Who's Tardist, I might be able to but as a mere human I went one very small step in front of the other and somehow made it to over a year without booze.
It's possible and very much worth it. Keep with it and give it a chance, don't give up on yourself, you are worth much more.x