No need to psychoanalyze it all, or be hard on yourself. A lot of us struggle at being more assertive and it sounds like what you are trying to do to. There are bound to be mistakes along the way. As for the texting, yes that is part of codependency. I used to engage in that type of communicating too for a very long time. You can't control what he says to you, but you can choose how to respond.
Always try to make decisions YOU can live with. Sometimes, it takes time to come to know what that is. I've been know to more than once say, "I'll get back to you tomorrow, I need to sleep on it." (My boss hates it when I say that, but she knows it's the truth!). Unfortunately texting has created a society that feels answers are needed NOW. But unless something is a matter of life or death, it can wait. Give yourself time to breathe. You'll feel better and will make better decisions.