Hello RedManc7!
First of all, i am an alcohol addict, and by no means i assume that our drugs of choice are alike. I just want to share with you my story.
During all last year, i tried to get sober continuously. Basically, i started on monday, to have time during Sat and Sun to have my "last drink".
Always started with a strong mindset, that lasted until around 4 or 5 pm, when i got out of work.
Sometimes i managed to put together 2 or 3 days. Because i used to drink everyday, to me it seemed like a huge accomplishment that needs to be celebrated. Other times i felt that 3 days of sobriety cured me and i can drink "just today" with no remorse.
After half year, i could do 10 or 12 days, then the inevitable relapse. The obsessive thoughts in my head were peaking as i was leaving work early, buying alcohol at the nearest store and drinking it in a back alley with my breath shortened and my brain melted. At 6 PM i was blackout brunk, passed out until 11 PM, drink more, blackout again till 6 AM.
As numb as i was, even I got scared about this behaviour. So, in march, after another bad relapse, i said, THAT'S IT! I's rather die than go trough all this again!
Since then, i had numerous bad days, foggy brain, awful feeling, depression, unable to do anything or think clearly. But i didn't cave in. Because not even the worst day can't compare to any day when i was trapped in the circle.
What i wanted to say to you with all this rambling. Break the circle!! It maybe took me a year to understand it, but you can do it today!
You don't get to feel better because you stop exactly when it's the worst. When the withdrawals are at peak, you use and "reset the counter". If you wait 4 more days (as hard as may seem to be), you will see that it gets better and better!
Good luck and be strong!!