Sending you prayers of peace and strength during this time of struggle. Deep breath, slow down. You have a lot on your plate right now. You are grieving the man you thought you knew. The relationship you thought you had. It will take time to process it all. You have every right to feel, angry, betrayed, sad. Be easy on yourself and take care of yourself. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Sometimes just getting it all out in the open helps. Journaling also helps if you like to do that. I know that is what helps me when I am feeling like you are. Hang in there, you are not alone.