Originally Posted by soberjuly

I also hid bottles. I still don't think my husband knew the full extent. I've admitted to a lot but of course, I also was buying booze on the sly and smuggling bottles out so he wouldn't see them in the recycling bin. When it reaches that state, it's horrible. I had a daily strong dependency. I needed booze every day. The last year it was at about one bottle of wine a day which was hard to stick with, that was my version of moderation.

It's is SO nice now to be free of booze. I was a literal slave to it. And I can meet parents and not worry if they can smell booze on me. I don't wake up worried about something I emailed or posted.

In fact, not drinking has had a very calming affect on me. I rarely email or post on FB. I closed down my FB acct for a bit after I quit but recently opened it but rarely look at it. I rarely watch TV which is weird. I used to watch way too much TV! and sit in my comfy "cuddler" chair and drink.

My kids and husband aren't scared of me. They used to scatter once home. Run for their rooms and office to give me the space I used to demand.

Now they can hang around me, they hug me more.

Things between my husband and I have gone from fairly lousy to really good and getting better. He just did everything for me and I just used to take and give nothing in return. I resented my husband, I resented my kids.

I could probably go on and on but I need to pick up my daughter and her friend. They went to get their school schedules. I can do that now and not be worried. Worried about how much I drank, worried about cops, worried if my breath smelled of booze.

To say alcohol increases anxiety, which I didn't believe before, is an understatement. It made me crazy with anxiety. Life is SO much easier without booze.