Hi guys, I'm currently a 33 year old man who definitely needs some help. I'm without a doubt an alcoholic. Once the first drink starts it keeps going. I must then drink till I black out. It's uncontrollable.
I finally got the nerve to post on this site, I've been browsing for a while. I know I need help, because I can't do it alone. It's getting progressively worse. I don't drink every night (I know that doesn't matter to determining if a person is an alcoholic, cause I most certainly know I am), but the nights I do drink its far beyond any normal person. I'm easily at an entire fifth of vodka (sometimes an entire litre) a night when I do drink. Yes, I know, its too much and it will kill me.
My wife I don't think has any idea the level of alcoholism I've reached. She thinks I only drink one or two beers a night. She doesn't know about the hidden vodka bottles around the house that get consumed in secret. I usually wait till she goes to bed then the serious boozing happens.
I can't seem to stop. As much as I tell myself I won't drink, It always seems to go down that road.... In fact I think I am still a little drunk from last night.. (Had a whole litre of vodka)
I HATE not remembering the night, I HATE waking up with a hangover. I want to be done with this! Why does this $15 bottle of crap control my life? I'm sick of it and I want out...
I don't know what I was looking for when I was writing this. I guess I just needed to vent to someone who will understand. When I hint at the topic with my parents they just laugh and say "oh just don't drink so much". They don't understand where I'm at with this. If I could stop at a beer or two I'd be ok. But I can't, and I know I can't. So I'm guessing the only solution is to avoid it entirely. Day one starts now.