Not a doctor but have a lot of personal experience with bp. No not blood pressure, but the fun one Bi-polar. I have tried all the drugs on the market for the condition, lithium, Prozac, Effexor, wellbutrin, serzone, Topamax, and a host of other ones until I was put on zyprexa. Long story short I got off of all the drugs and used alcohol to cope. For me, the medications changed exactly who I was. I tried all of them and eventually was taking four to combat side effects of the others drugs. I did not know whether I was coming or going. I have a family with three little kids, and had some businesses which required 80+ hour work weeks. I tried the drugs and they made me into a zombie. I have been off of them for 3.5 years and recently decided to get off the alcohol. I use alcohol, especially when I am manic. I get so much crap running through my brain I can't slow down, and the booze slows me down. I have been off it for over one week, a short time, but have been dealing with the bp and not drinking.
The mind is a powerful thing, especially when it gets twisted up and or stuck. I understand where you are with the condition, it really sucks, but in my case the drugs suck more. I guess I am lucky in that when I get manic, I only buy stuff I don't need, but don't go "off the wall", except in my head. What helps me a lot is to take a step back and look at things they way they are, rather than the way I think they are, or the way I have convinced myself they are. I get so twisted up on things sometimes I get exhausted!! But on the other hand, the bp makes me incredibly productive at times, and very depressed at times. I tell myself often, it is not real, it is only in my head and I have to work through it.
Personally I think BP is first, then the alcohol comes into play for the self medicating. But it really does not matter which is first, second, or third, they are both a problem. It is nearly impossible to not be BP when you are BP, but there is a choice involved with drinking. This site has helped me understand that I cant control the 5-30 drinks at a time, and I often cant control the 2-5 drinks, but I can control the 1st drink. I am new at this so take it with a grain of salt, but I understand where you are with the BP. It is not pleasant.
I wish you luck in your decision and in your life. It is difficult, but everyone has problems, at least BP has some good attributes, although at times it is really difficult to see them.