More drama, regretably.
After a short scuffle I got bundled over in the city centre yesterday by couple of security guys, shirt ripped clean off after stealing wine from a supermarket. Phone cameras were out and much pleasure was had by the general public as my face was planted in the concrete with a knee. I was then hand cuffed by the police, and spent several hours in a police cell before being released with a formal caution for theft.
Where this leaves me? I'm registered with the Health Care Professions council here and I will have to notify them of my police caution. Of course the chance of any hospital having me now are slim to none. In regards to my sobriety I havent been able to change the things that are making me unhappy and so staying sober has been failire. Returning to practice was the biggie though, the one that once I resolved would remove a huge worry from my mind.
It seems like the final nail has been hammered here. It's a new feeling of misery that has it's unique uncomfortable feeling, definitely feels like a life changer. I feel like I wanna vomit from worry. I can not tell anyone this, it will destroy my mother who is already desperately unhappy and unwell herself. If I don't stay rational here my mind is offering me a solution to which i've never been more close to caving to.
I've made a docs appointment and the police are referring me to a local alcohol centre. THat's gonna take some time. I can only work through the other stuff now with the HPC.. I'me more determined to make these changes, although I just made life a lot harder for myself...
I don't have any appetite for drink. I'm grateful that I'm not drunk right now that's where I am here..