loosingmymind

Weird title, I know but here is my question. WHY??? if the spouse cheats, people say "get out" no need to put up with that! If the spouse beats you, they say "get out" no need to put up with that!

BUT....if you say, I left because he is an alcoholic, they look at you like you must be crazy!! Why do I feel the need to defend my feelings about living with an alcoholic? And honestly why do I have to?

It must be because alcohol is so readily available and abused by so many because I cannot think of another reason why it is so taboo to be the one to walk out on one.

AH traits: he IS a great provider, hard worker etc. He was a good father, still is to an extent but I shudder to think of the damage we have caused our children (now grown). He has never hit me in any way, but I know that words can hurt and damage just as much as a fist. He has never cheated (that I am aware of) other than with his one true love: BEER.

Sometimes I truly wish that he would cheat on me or slap me because then I could say, "See, this is a good reason to leave". It would be easier to leave because then I would feel like HE made the choice instead of me. I spend so much time questioning weather or not I have done enough to keep this together, but deep down, I know. I think we all do we just keep hanging on to the dream.

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant.