Taking Things In Stride, A Welcome Symptom Of Sobriety
So there was an opportunity in my company, it would have been a lower position in a higher department so I would have been paid the same. I was rumored to be the shoe in for the position and there was room to grow in the position as a result of the higher department. The kicker came today when I was told that a demotion from an even higher department would be getting placed in the open position rendering it no longer open.
Had I still been drinking I am sure I would have rushed home after my shift and got belligerently drunk. Instead, I grabbed my dogs and went 2,000 feet up to the Mountain crest and took a nice stroll. The air was so crisp, about ten degrees cooler up there and the silence was deafening. I stopped for a moment and took a deep breath while listening to the sound of nothingness. Up this high with the dry spell we had last week and now some cooler temperatures after some rain the leaves have begun to yellow a bit. Combined with the new moisture in the soil a heavy musky scent of foliage permeated the area.
I thought instead of negatives about all the positive things I still have, including this moment. My dogs and I enjoying the nature on a beautiful day and I in particular enjoy it sober. I thought as I walked how there are so many positive things in my current position I would miss. I supervise a smaller department and the leadership duties have certain perks I may have missed. I was ready to take a chance for the possibilities of higher promotion but I now I am able to think back on what I would have lost.
Had I still been drinking I would have been deep in a 12 pack, brooding and grunting about all the injustice in the world. Instead I was enjoying the finish of a nice walk and thinking about tomorrow's work detail and how I would achieve my daily goals in stride and appreciate all I have. No dwelling needed, just a plan of action for the coming days with no need or desire to look back.
I'm just going to enjoy another sober evening.
Hoping you all out there are finding your solace tonight.