Expectations are fine, good even IMO. I used to have none past the very basic - does not abuse me. I didn't even have 'employed' on my list of expectations. ugh.
Anyway - the key is to have the expectations surrounding the 'role' of partner not of any specific person. You keep searching for someone that can mostly fill that role and if they do not - you let them go because they aren't changing.
If you want a cat you walk past all the dogs, or if you play with and love a dog but suddenly realize you are really a cap person - cry and move along, because if you get a dog and expect it to behave like a cat, you are going to be disappointed.