The View From The Bathroom
AH comes home and as always everything is a problem. Lots of cursing and yelling and I know there is no point even opening my mouth to speak as it will make things worse so tonight I retreated to the bathroom, took my pillow in there, had a good cry and decided to come back and visit this board. We all have our own reasons we stay but there has to be another way to live besides being up all night from stress and only having peace when AH is not around. And as someone said in another thread about their AH, mine also sleeps like a baby, passed out early in the night while I remain sleepless from all the anxiety that has been produced from all the yelling.
I'm getting stronger, still have a way to go but I have started to see a light shining at the end of this long tunnel.
My heart goes out to my AH because he's so miserable. He never smiles, never laughs, everything and everybody is terrible to him but at the same time I realize I no longer smile or laugh or have any peace and I can never say anything without getting mocked or belittled or yelled at for being stupid.
So thank you for being here to listen to me tonight. You all made me feel better just knowing you are there and I'm going to get out of this situation. I've made that promise to myself and I'm baby stepping myself back to a normal life.