Welcome, Sarah1975! It's good to have you at SR. Becoming "a drunk" is often a process, and getting sober is a process, too. Looking back I realize that I was pretty much hooked the first time I got drunk. Despite that my relationship with alcohol wasn't all that different from my peers when I was younger. But little by little my drinking escalated; early on I was more of a binge drinker but the binges got longer and longer. Through it all I convinced myself I didn't have a problem because I didn't do the thing I thought "real alcoholics" did. For instance, to me someone that drank early in the day or needed a drink before they could function was an alkie. Plus, you couldn't be an alcoholic if you just drank beer! That was really my thought process at the time!
Of course, as I got older I started ticking off those things one by one. Hard liquor? Check. Drinking alone? Check. A quick drink in the morning just to help with the hangover? Check.
I don't mean to sidetrack this by talking about myself. I'm trying to show you that a problem that takes a long time to recognize might take a while to fix. I harbored a vague understanding that I didn't drink like my friends for a long time. I even vaguely understood that I would probably have to quit "someday". Someday wound up being a long ways out.
Once I really made a decision to quit it was easier than I expected. Don't misunderstand- I thought I had really decided before but I was fooling myself. In the past I'd "take a break" from drinking or decide to lay off "for awhile" but deep down I knew I wasn't quitting.
You need to formulate a plan. The first part is coming to an understanding deep down in the core of your being that you are going to quit drinking, forever. Once you do that the rest can be sorted out.
SR is a great resource! I think you'll like it here.