Failed on day 3 - maybe I can't do this?
I've always had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, I could never just have one or two, never keep any in the refrigerator & to me that wasn't a problem - it was normal. Some months id drink less, some more, stress, health, free time, season, boredom, insomnia & depression all impacting in different ways... I've always functioned okay though, didn't touch a drop through pregnancy etc. I didn't see it as the problem the my mother would occasionally imply it was.
After recognising that this most recent phase has lasted a few years instead of a few months, and beginning to wonder how this may effect me long-term I woke up on the 14th and decided to make that day, day one. (Having never had a day 1 before.)
I don't drink loads, 1-2 bottles of wine a day with only occasional bigger binges every couple of months. I even had occasional no alcohol days, as none of this was planned or intentional - if you know what I mean? Though I've had no no alcohol days since easter.
Anyway, the 14th became a kinda accidental day 1, id got to maybe 5pm before thinking of going to the shop and I made myself not go (that was bloody hard), the 15th, day 2 was easier and harder, I kept busy all day and i didn't feel great, but again, I made it. The 16th, day 3 however, was different, I now knew this was gonna be hard, I turned down an offer of a free evening at the pub, and too ashamed to goto my doctor I started looking for online help.
Good intentions aside, today is my second day 1.
I need support.
This is hard!