I stayed home last night because he seemed to want to hang out which would have been fine. But he didn't show up until 8
your being there or not being there has NO affect on his choices. you stayed home THINKING he wanted to spend time with you, but alas he had other plans. he is going to do whatever the heck he wants, regardless.....
so let's work on diminishing your default GUILT response! when we feel "guilty" for not doing the right thing that we THINK could have changed an outcome, that's really our EGO talking. i am so powerful over others, if i would just do the RIGHT thing i can control what they do, think, feel and act. because of course i know FAR better about how others should live their lives then they do themselves!!!!
now mind you when we see someone juggling live chain saws, we think to ourselves, you know that really is NOT a very wise choice! any more than the guy who puts his head in alligator's mouth! or drinks so much they p!ss themselves. but those people, places and things are NOT in our control. we can only make sure WE grab the right end of the chain saw, and keep our heads out of large, many toothed animal's mouths, and keep our wits about us enough to find the loo!