Being too scared to get help keeps us caught in a nightmare.
I really urge you to go and seek professional help and to be honest with your Doctors about everything you've got going on. Please don't let concerns about how the meds will affect your job put you off because it sounds like it is in real jeopardy anyway. Sometimes removing the alcohol exposes so many other things that we've numbed away.
It did for me too. I was diagnosed with PTSD and a dissociative disorder. I needed professional help.
Just last week I was put on a new med to combat some physical difficulties brought on by stress. It has helped me so much. I'm not sure where I would be today without it.
Please try to take some deep breaths and be completely honest. Mental health issues can be treated just like anything else..and there is nothing you can say to your Doctors, psychiatrists, counsellors, that they haven't heard and dealt with before.
Wishing you well.