One year sober but lonely
Hi,
I was one year sober last month after years of battling against alcohol, and I am incredibly grateful. I have reaped the benefits in many areas of my life, but I am also very lonely. I moved to a new city to go to rehab and decided to stay and make a new start when I got out. It was the right decision but I have struggled to make real friends [apart from one good friend from rehab]. I have plenty of interests, do lots of voluntary work and am studying, and have met lots of interesting people but it never gets beyond the level of acquaintance/casual friend and I feel like I am missing out on the chance to get to know people more intimately because I am still avoidant of social situations involving alcohol, which most things do. I can cope with being around it if necessary, as sometimes it is, and I trust myself but I still have strong, conflicting feelings about it - hatred of it for what it did to me but also, crazily, jealousy of those who can drink safely. I don't know whether I should be forcing myself accept more pub-related invitations or just keep hoping that it will get easier with time.
I'd appreciate any advice or suggestions.