Hi Anne,
Your feelings are not melodramatic at all and they mirror the way I felt when I stopped drinking.
First of all the shame and guilt is tough and even after 4 1/2 years I still struggle with guilt occasionally. Early on, guilt consumed me. The advice I got from Paulie was to journal. Somehow I knew that was the right answer for me because I had thought of it often, but greatly resisted. I didn't want to see the words. The miracle was though, that when I put the words on paper, they lost their power.
I, too, felt regret for the time I had given up. But, I was more grateful that I was now able to live my life free of the chains that had held me down. I was freeing myself of the low self-worth, the shame, feeling my life was pointless and that I had accomplished nothing. For me, living my daily life in a way that was honest and meaningful to me was amazing.
You are feeling overwhelmed with emotion now and that really is normal. Your drinking has kept down the feelings that you need to deal with. There is no way around it. Dealing with those feelings will free you to live your life as you choose. Try to face the emotions, own them and then move on.
Anne, you're doing great and I hope that you find peace very soon.
Love, Anna
Live each day the best way you can.