I think we can feel a certain way for so long it becomes the default programme.
I also felt I was a deeply sad person, and always would be.
I had 20 years or more of misery to back that conclusion up - why would/should I doubt it?
Yet time, and recovery, have shown me I was mistaken.
I'm not a deeply sad person - I'm actually a joyful and optimistic person who found themselves locked in a deeply sad way to live.
For what it's worth deeply sad are not the words that come immediately to mind when I think of you Torn.
I should also note that there was a difference in you without the booze.
I really encourage you to have the courage, and the faith, to go looking for that person again
D
Originally Posted by
tornrealization 
I think we can get sober without faith, but my worry is why bother? I'm tormented by my thinking right now. I'm not happy drinking makes me temporarily happy, but then is such a destruction, yet being sober makes me question what's the goal here, and I'm starting to think I'm a deeply sad person with no relief, because why and I DONT WANT To be that person.
As much as it counts Robin Williams suicide saddens me, make me feel more mortal, and ashames of my previous attempt.
This is where I wish it was worth something or, makes sense. Ok depression aside, I've been having good days. Not all is lost. I worry for those in Iraq, no fair God.