I just saw the bump of this thread. Our first child, daughter, is totally dependent she has both physical and mental handicaps. My wife and I often wonder how our son, two years younger, has been affected.
He is 20 now and the few talks or comments we have shared , he claims to be not affected or that he didn't know any different, along those lines, but.. sounds convincing (?), but he is a young adult and well ..you know.
We know it had to be difficult , and there is a lot of guilt on our parts. But he is a rather independent young man , and always was even as a young boy, had to be I guess. ew yeah , lots of parental guilt..