yup, I just finished my jail last weekend for the 2nd one (5yrs apart) ...and while I may have not done "hard time in the pen"...jail is jail.
I am grateful that I didn't harm or even kill someone, myself included. Although, the former is the one that I am MOST grateful for. How the hell could I live with myself if I had taken someone(s) from their families all b/c I was DRUNK?? I couldn't. I already know what would have happened. I'd make sure I wasn't here b/c the pain of that would be unbearable.
Your post is a concerning. You drive a truck for a living. I pray you don't choose too late to fix this issue. You can't bring back the dead.
Please, seek some help.