MJ, glad you found SR and are here with us.
This is a great community with tons of support. You have to make the decision to quit for yourself. There is no middle ground...
You can do it. Once you commit, your actions and efforts will speak for themselves. It is a tough journey, but so worth the effort; especially if you have been denied being able to see your kids.
MJ, re-read your original post and take out the word "hopefully" from "hopefully I had my last drink yesterday".
I have found that each time I leave any opening, I return to drinking. Even if that opening is a sliver of a thought, I have lost the fight before I even began.
Your choice, but if you do choose, then you HAVE had your last drink yesterday. Simple as that.
Best of luck to you.