Hello and welcome. Glad you decided to post.
It took me a long time admit I am an alcoholic, too. But it was cathartic. A load off my mind and soul.
It was scary to think I could never drink safely again. And I was every kind of drunk, at some point, there is.
I'm here to tell you, after drinking for twenty three years, even the most seemingly hopeless cases like me can recover.
Some find support groups helpful. You may check into that, if so inclined.
You'll find a lot of support here.
Congratulations on eleven days, and many more to you.