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Old 08-09-2014, 09:49 AM
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ladyscribbler
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
You have a right to express your feelings, but this isn't really about boundaries. A boundary is not a rule to control someone's behavior, it is a safeguard for you. "No drinking and driving" is a rule, "I (and any minor children in my care) will not ride with a driver who has been drinking" is a boundary.
Enforcing a boundary also means that you have a plan b in place to deal with a violation. I made a boundary of "I will not live in a home with active alcoholism." My ex was also a binge drinker, but has progressed to daily blackouts. When the active alcoholism continued, I enforced my boundary by leaving the home with my children. He is still drinking, because that is his choice, but I no longer live in a home with active alcoholism. That is my choice.
I know all this is easier said than done, it wasn't a choice I made lightly, but I no longer felt safe in our home, and waiting on him to see the light was not a valid plan for our lives.
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