As always dandylion you are right I struggle with accepting his choices and refusal to seek help and I feel lost and powerless. There are days where I say to myself you have no control over his choices and actions only your own and days where I worry so much about him. I know I can't fix this and I have to focus on my own recovery but it's exhausting putting on a brave face all the time pretending that everything is fine. I come home from work sort the kids and the house then sit and stare at the walls I don't even have the interest to watch TV lol
I suppose it's his expectation that I will keep him updated as he won't think about contacting her esp if he knows she will be in contact with me. I don't feel I should have to keep him updated that she is ok but I feel selfish saying that.
I know your right about the no contact and I am more focused for some reason it's easier this time and I think with time it will become easier and easier to accept this.
I do feel sorry for him he is missing out on so much with the kids even the day to day things like talking over dinner about what they've been up to saying good night to them. I know I can't control the destruction his addiction is causing and at the minute I am not sure he will survive it and that saddens me it's as if he has given up!!
Thanks dandylion