Butterfly....I say, with compassion, that you have not, yet, fully accepted the reality of what is going on. I understand how hard it is to accept---and,it usually comes in increments, at first. As of right now, you are fighting reality very hard.
This is pretty typical.
I believe that you will accept it in time...you just are not there...yet.
Your daughter should have her own relationship with her father (for better or worse) without you moderating it from the middle. Just step out..she is a young adult...she can handle it from here on out. You are not helping anyone, at this point. It will be o.k.!
The longer you stay no contact with him...the easier it will be to detach from the relationship with him. Detachment is meant to stop your suffering.
Make no mistake--he is not enjoying a bachelor, single life! He is a man in the throes of destruction by alcoholism. He is not carefree and happy. But you have no control over that. He is not capable of having his family, and he is not capable of happiness without his family.
Trust me....you would not want to be in his shoes. He may not survive this.
But, you can; your daughter can.
dandylion