Originally Posted by
freshstart57 
I told my story, and a member here let me in on the point of view that what I was doing (and what had been done to me) was something called AVRT.
Agreed wholeheartedly. I think I've been choosing the same path you have in my own roundabout way. First hubbie laid down the line very forcefully, choose A or B and if I chose booze then what I had to lose was crystal clear. I tend to take the approach of whatever works for you but... I have attended several SMART meetings and I've attended AA meetings. I also read these forums every day, mostly the Friends and Family section frankly and am reminded daily of the destruction wrought on families (some serious aversion therapy for me). I've listened to people tell their stories in meetings which include many many relapses. Listening to a room full of people the other night in a SMART meeting and listing positives and negatives of drinking I hear precious few say that relapse was not an option, they would lose their families.
AVRT of course is a risk of course for families because the addict may choose addiction. You see that scenario playing out every day on these forums. It is sad but in my opinion better to know sooner rather than later where the addicts priorities lie so the family can go on and make the best choices for themselves. The whole concept of intermittent reinforcement, making threats and not following through with them seems to have its pitfalls in the long run. Sounds harsh but coming from the other side of the fence I think the AVRT approach certainly has a lot of merits from a very practical sense.
Good luck in your journey. I myself will have to take a looksy at the AVRT website.