DD, that was an amazing post.
Life, I hope you take this on the terms you need to and go out tomorrow and get the help that is there waiting for you. The 7K DD mentioned was, in part, stuff you don't need to consider -- yet. Yet is a fine line, however, "yet" is something about to happen.
Life please stop working at home, when you choose that option you are choosing drinking.
ETA There are times I feel ashamed and unworthy because I didn't walk the conventional or rehab recovery path. But I do my own path of honesty every day, here at SR, it's different for all of us.