think of No Contact as a big protective force field around you. every time you BREAK it, you let all the iggly squigglys in.
he did exactly as you asked...contacted you specifically about the children and nothing more. the rest was self created. now that is actually a good thing, because it means he is not disrepsecting your boundaries...you are and that means you have the power to CHANGE THAT.
let's take the focus off of him and off of the contact. i think your counselor asked you a very VERY important question - what does love look like to you? sometimes the way to get to the answer is start with the opposite...what love is NOT.
do some homework. write this stuff out. get it OUT of your head.