Thanks guys! It's a tough place to be Woodman, the disease is brutal and there is nothing we can do but watch and take the abuse until we are fed up. When I left, I think that was it for me. The courage it took to leave went against all of my old habits of people pleasing and not wanting to disappoint. I pretty much knew then the relationship was terminally broken, or I would have stayed.
Meggem- I too have gotten caught in the delusion of " oh we can be friends". I know that's not possible because she treats her friends like crap too. I guess what I'm most afraid of is the conversation being completely irrational and dragging on for much longer than it needs to. Maybe she will surprise me but that's not her pattern. Since nothing is in my name the process of divorce should be easy as far as proceedings go. It's really that I have no interest in talking to her and hearing all of the pity party stuff that I know she will throw at me. Thanks again.