Thank you, Sass!
You are a faithful and ever-ready poster with great wit and much wisdom. You are quick to comfort and encourage.
It is tough to face real problems without alcohol. It gets to the point where it is even tough to face the smallest decisions. Not only is it deadening us to the factors outside of us, but it is also deadening us from the inside out. The more we drink, the less interested we are--and the less interesting we are, even to ourselves.
I always knew I was petulant and immature when I drank--didn't stop me. Not till I was sober for a good while, though, did I start to understand that there is a "me" there who is worth treating with respect.
I've been conceited and self-centered all my life. When I got born again, I realized that I was created in the image of God, and therefore I was good as a matter of sound doctrine (sort of a theoretical truth); however, it wasn't till very recently that I began to see that the regular, wart-covered, day-to-day me has great value as well.
It is not right for me to treat others badly; but it is not right to treat myself badly, either. Keeping myself buried alive by drinking was treating myself badly. It took me a lot of months to realize that.
Drinking the proper way is a wonderful thing for many people. But it's just one of those things I can't have. The sting of it lessens as the months go by. I'll never sing in the Metropolitan Opera, either.
The more time goes by, the better I am able to accept the fact that I'll never drink again.