I usually have more integrity then this. Perhaps I should be banned. Or perhaps you should put me on ignore.
Liz, I see so much of myself in you. I didn't want to listen to anything or believe anything. I lived in a fantasy world !!!!!!! Get my drift here?
I wanted to find anything or anyone to tell me how to make things better. I read a lot of books, I tried everything that they told me about what would make my life better.
It didn't.
I am not saying alanon is bad. I really am not saying that. I am saying that you may be so effed up in the head that you just want to find out things that are wrong with you so that you can fix them, because you might have finally realized you can't fix him.
So what exactly did you fix? You are giving him a bigger road to walk all over you, while he blames you, and you blame you because you might have gotten upset. So let's see, you run to alanon, you are not to be upset, you are to disengage, and detach. Well done. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So what did he get out of this? Oh, you are better tempered, and he can now push it a little further, see how you can disengage from that and detach from that?
I don't know Liz, what are you doing? I think you are using alanon against yourself.
The more I read about you, the more I see you becoming submissive and more submissive while you are feeling liking you are detaching.
Liz, we are a mixed group here, but we all have one thing in common here. We love you. We are alanon, we are DV, we are the, we don't even know trying to figure it out.
My intentions here are not to put down alanon, just to show sometimes it can be detrimental.
Liz (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
PS - going for that walk around the block again. And "no" that wasn't amends, it was looking for some more reason to attack you for, and telling you that he will keep doing it. And you sort of said OK, that it's OK that you abuse me and my son, because I didn't say anything. So will walk around the block several times tonight. May read here again, but will not respond.